


please don't leave me

by foureyes12



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, not explicit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foureyes12/pseuds/foureyes12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newsies World War One AU</p><p>Crutchie is a lonely muffin that can't fight in the war cause of his leg. He also happens to be in love with the husband of his only friend that isn't off fighting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	please don't leave me

**Author's Note:**

> (I wrote this for a writing swap a while ago) at findingneverlancl.tumblr.com

1.crutchie

Crutchie sighed as he sorted through all the letters declaring men killed in action or missing in action. He dreaded the day he might see one of these letters addressed to Mrs. Jacobs or even himself. Katherine had never been the kind of girl that would sit idly waiting for her husband to come home from war. So she set out to document the lives of those affected by the war. To her constant frustration, female reporters were still prohibited from reporting about the battle . Because Katherine was always on the move for her reporting Crutchie was listed as Jack’s emergency contact, along with a fair number of the other boys that didn’t have no one.

Crutchie thanked his lucky stars that his bum leg prohibited him from being drafted to join the army. Then he thanked them again that the only letter he had received today was from Jack himself, not from any official offices. He had received too many of those and it killed him each time to learn that one of the boys was dead. After receiving such a letter for the first time, Crutchie had decided that he would only open any letters he received back at the home. Where he could have a semblance of personal space. He never wanted to break down in tears at work again. The worst part of this wasn’t the sinking realisation that he’d never see any of the boys he grew up with again. The worst part was telling the little boys, the ones that had been too young to go to war. Crutchie was the one that had to tell them the older boys, their older brothers， weren’t coming back. Comforting them when he himself felt like curling into a ball and sobbing was the hardest. Losing family was always hard especially if it was already your second one.

As his shift at the post office ended, Crutchie picked up the letter from Jack and left the office with a quick wave to the person managing the front desk. On his way home he brought a newspaper, just in case Katherine had recently published an article. He kept all her articles in a box below his bed. When she published new ones he would read them out to the younger boys. Even on the driest subjects they payed rapt attention to the articles. Katherine, oh clever Katherine always managed to make everything interesting. From the way she laughed tot he way she wrote, she was interesting. At least to Crutchie.

As soon as he got home he started to read. Katherine’s piece on working women in the war first and then the letter from Jack. After finishing the article Crutchie carefully cut it out and placed it in the box with the other articles. Then he got out Jacks letter and started to read.

“Dear Crutchie,

I ain’t got much paper right now so I gotta keep this short. I’ve got nothin new to report. Mud and war, just like in all my other letters. We lost our playing cards during a storm a while ago but someone’s sister sent up a new pack so at least we still got something to keep us entertained when we don’t have to fight. The food’s shit, I hope you and the boys have better food. You heard from Kath recently? I got a letter from her the other day, can’t wait to see her again when this is all over. I miss her. I miss you too. You asked me to do something once and I’m gonna ask you to do it for me, ok. Tell the boys to look out for one another, that’s what family does. If there’s one thing you learn out here real fast is that if you don’t look out for one another you’re dead. Tell the boys to do that for me. I’m running out of paper so I guess I’ll say goodbye now.

Hope to see you soon,

Jack”

Crutchie smiled as he read the letter. Jack was alive. Not great, but alive, and that was all Crutchie asked for. If someone would have granted Crutchie one wish he would say in a heartbeat that he wanted to see Jack and Katherine. They didn’t have to see him or talk to him. Crutchie just wanted to see them, one last time. To him it seemed that he might never again see them.

With this in mind he started drafting a letter back to Jack. At first he wrote about the boys and how they were doing. Then he wrote about Katherine’s latest article. Finally he pulled all his courage together and wrote something he never thought he’d say. Let alone write.

“Jack do you think it’s possible to be in love with more than one person? At the same time? And, and do you think it’d be possible for them to love you back? Even if they’re completely besotted with each other? And what if one of them is a guy too? I. What I’m trying to say is I’ve been head over heels in love with you for a while and then Katherine came along and can you blame me for loving her too. I’m writing this on the off chance that you might love me back. It’s not a big chance though, so I’m probably never going to send this. I’ll burn it. Yeah that’s what I’ll do. I’ll burn it.”

Overcome by emotion Crutchie ripped the paper in half by stabbing his pencil through it. How had he been so stupid. He was never going to send it. What if someone else had read it. No, it was better like this, no one would ever know. That night when he went to sleep after burning the letter he felt truly alone. One of the youngest had crawled into his bed and slept curled up next to him but Crutchie felt alone.

2.the next day

Katherine took a deep breath as she walked up to the front door. She hadn’t written ahead to tell Crutchie she was coming back. Then again she thought she’d stay at her and Jack’s place not the boys’ home. That idea had seemed more realistic when she was miles away, now back in New York she couldn’t bring herself to enter the apartment. She’d stood frozen in front of the door willing herself to go in. When Katherine did finally go in, she couldn’t stay for long. Everywhere in the apartment memories manifested and festered. Memories of Jack, memories of them both, treasured memories. This had been part of the reason why she left in the first place. Katherine didn’t want to and couldn’t live with memories and fear of Jack dying breathing life into vivid images of what could happen.

What she needed was comfort and familiarity, so she went where she would find that. This building was also filled with memories of her husband but less of her own memories of him. After all， she had only met him when he had been just a year away from moving out. Katherine wondered what Crutchie would say about her turning up unannounced. She dismissed any thoughts of Crutchie driving her away though. This was one place she felt she would always be welcome. Picking up her suitcase, Katherine moved towards the door. Hoping she wasn’t waking anyone up this early in the morning， she knocked.

A bleary eyed Crutchie opened the door for her. It took a few moments for his sleepy brain to figure out what was happening but after the penny had finally dropped his expression changed from sleepiness to slack jawed awe. After a few more moments a grin started to form across his face. Suddenly Katherine felt herself lifted up into the air as Crutchie picked her up and hugged her.

“Miss me that much, huh.” she teased after he had finally set her down.

“I thought you were out somewhere reporting.” Crutchie replied with awe returning to his face.

“Well I thought it was time to come home.” Katherine stated smiling. “Well aren’t you going to invite a girl in?” she asked a few moments later and Crutchie fumbled to open the door.

Though Crutchie had to go to work, Katherine found plenty for herself to do around the house. Mostly she entertained the younger boys. According to them she was the bestest story teller of all time. After Crutchie had come home and everyone had eaten, things quietened down as the boys had to go to bed. Eventually only Crutchie and Katherine were left sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea in companionable silence.

Crutchie broke it “Are you staying tonight?”

Katherine looked up with hesitation “Do you mind?”

“Do I mind? God no! You’re always welcome and we have more than enough spare beds right now.”

Katherine sighed “Yeah, I guess space isn’t a problem at the moment”

The silence returned to the air as they both avoided talking about the war.

“Do, do you mind me asking.” Crutchie said “Why come here first, why not -”

“Go back home? To the apartment?” Katherine interrupted. “I tried. I couldn’t though there were too many, too many-”

“Memories? Nightmares?” Crutchie guessed.

“You too?” Katherine asked.

Crutchie answered with a nod.

As both of them went back to their tea, Katherine wondered just how much Crutchie understood her. She knew Jack and Crutchie loved each other like brothers but sometimes she couldn’t help wondering if it ever was more than that on Crutchie’s side. Usually, she never let herself dwell on these thoughts for too long but in that moment she could tell she was right. She didn’t feel repulsed as most people would be, he was still the same Crutchie she had known. She did feel sorry for Crutchie though, she couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be in love with someone that had married someone else. Being told that the love you were feeling was disgusting and a sin on top of that would have killed her.

“I got a letter from Jack the other day” Crutchie confided her.

“Really? What did it say?” Katherine asked with piqued interest.

“Something about a pack of cards.” Crutchie started “Asked me if I’d seen you. He misses you. Then asked me to tell the boys to watch each others backs cause thats what family does.”

“That sounds like him” Katherine smiled “I miss him too” she added, her smile dimming down.

Crutchie looked up “I know how you feel”

More than anyone, he though more than anyone did he know this feeling.

They continued sitting in silence until very late. Neither wanting to move, neither wanting to remind themselves that the outside world existed.

3\. a year later

A young red-headed widow clasped her hand in that of a young man standing next to her. Both were clad in black. They held onto each other’s hands like a lifeline. Passers by would say what a poor woman, it was plain to see someone close to her had died but at least she still had her husband. For it was plain to see that the man holding her hand was in love with her. What they did not know was that they were standing at the memorial for her husband. Neither of these miserable figures had even gotten a body to bury. If the passers by knew the full story, that they were both in love with the dead man they would say “Surely they hate each other.” That was not the case. They were in love with the same man, that was not reason to hate each other. In fact the man loved the widow as well and over the following years she might grow to love him romantically too. For now it seemed they were all the other had left. So they stood in black and wept in front of the stone. They held hands because no one could understand what they were feeling better than each other. They grieved together for they loved the same man and he deserved that love even after death.


End file.
